There is always a clash between the values I grew up with and the values of the people around me. Switching from a simple middle class south Indian girl to a person trying find a spot among the Indians here in America has always been a tough ride for me. Mostly it has been a lonely ride because I don’t change easily and because I love who I am, I find no reason to change.
In a word I call myself simple and orthodox. But some may say antisocial or a no fun person.
With two kids, one in middle school and another in high school I now worry for my children. Should I teach them to do what the world does around them or follow the values that I learnt back in India? I like the Indian way because it was less trouble for the kids. Especially when dealing with high school parties, prom and sex etc…etc…
I find it hard when my son comes back from school and tells that in school they taught him in 9th grade that it was ok to have sex but to use condoms. I understand about safe sex but I feel that talking about it to kids, somehow makes it a correct thing to do for them. No wonder this country is dealing with child pregnancy problems.
Children back home would be mostly worried about getting top grades in the 10th grade and state ranks. Not that there aren’t kids in India, who have sex and get pregnant that young, but somehow the entire society puts emphasize on studies than sex and enjoyment.
Girls here feel proud showing off their body and wear clothes that emphasize their physique. Nothing wrong with that and it is catching up in India too. But is it wrong to feel that I too respect my body when I don’t display it like a show commodity? It is easy on the opposite sex and feels more respectable – My opinion and maybe very old fashioned. Any way do I teach my daughter that dressing provocatively is wrong or to go with the crowd?
Here alcohol is something that goes with culture. I don’t object to that. Back home drinking is wrong may it be men or women. It is not a part of our religious or social culture. So I don’t understand why other Indians look down on us because we refuse to consume alcohol. How did the scales dip the other way, I don’t know. I can tell you that Americans are more understanding than my own country people. So do I tell my kids that follow me or follow the crowd?
I married a person from another religion because I believe all people are same. I don’t believe in customs like caste differences or the dowry system that is still followed among Indians even here in America. I believe any honest job is a good job. But just because I don’t drink, or wear sleeve-less, tank tops or shorts, or because I say no sex until marriage – so no prom or parties without adult supervision, I am looked down upon. Though I know I shouldn’t care for their opinions, but I worry for my children.
